#Selflove – Confidence is key

Do you ever find yourself looking at people who are unashamedly eccentric, bright, bold or super stylish and thinking ‘How do they do it? How are they so cool?’ Well most of it comes down to confidence and a strong sense of self – these are people who know who they are (or at least what they like) and are secure enough in their own skin that they do what works for them rather than adhering to social norms or being what they think they should be. I will confess I have often found myself envying such people – I think they are fabulous and would love to be like them when I grow up!

But if you couldn’t be further from this; if you like to cover yourself up in layers, lots of black (and not just because you have a love for all things gothic), slouch and try to do whatever you can to hide yourself then now is the time to SHAKE THINGS UP…

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Firstly we need to take some time to consider how you view yourself and think about yourself – do you constantly put yourself down in front of others, try to get in there with jokes about your size/shape/appearance first, avoid going out and socialising because you don’t want to be seen in public? I am guilty of all of these, I’ve been doing it for years and have built up quite a solid repertoire of excuses, jokes and scathingly sarcastic put downs to hide behind… it’s not a fun place to be or a good mindset to be living in that’s for sure.

I’ve been working hard over the past 2 years on my self-confidence and body confidence – funny fact: I spent much of my time singing, dancing and acting on stage in theatrical productions or concerts in front of audiences from 20 – 2000, I’ve had to wear all sorts on stage – skimpy showgirl costumes, formal gowns, corsets, puffy skirts – you name it! If you speak to people they will tell you that this does not bother me, and to an extent they are right – I will wear whatever on stage as part of a character – but I can tell you now that some of my lowest points of self-confidence and body-confidence have come (and still crop up) when I’m backstage in costume and labelling myself as ‘the fat one’ in a chorus, or a group of dancers or just feeling uncomfortable being so exposed…

I’ve been working on improving my lifestyle, my diet, my exercise routines (well, trying to get something sorted) and most importantly my mentality. I believe I am at the core of a pessimistic persuasion – the Capricorn in me means I overthink everything, then I’m susceptible to to ‘what ifs’ and am a persistent worrier. This is a problem. A most annoying,  frustrating problem. I have so many dreams and aspirations of things I want to do, see and achieve – many of which I know I can actually do – however fear prevents me from doing anything to actually progress this because you know, I worry that something will happen/go wrong etc. I decided to introduce Wednesday Wisdom to the blog as part of my work to modify my mindset, I’ve read a lot (I mean, A LOT) of personal development/self-help/lifestyle/biography books to increase my perception of the world, I’ve tried to increase my social interactions with positive people, have left toxic, negative atmospheres in pursuit of my dreams and am a fan of affirmations whilst having a boogie to music in my room too!

If you appear confident (I’m of the ‘fake it ’till you make it’ school of thought here) you are less likely to be on the receiving end of ‘funny looks’ or negative attention – if you want to wear something or do something own it! Of course you’ll never be able to please everyone and it’s important to bear that in mind too. I often think of this fabulous quote from Dr. Seuss when it comes to doing what makes your happy, being true to yourself and breaking out of the status quo.

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And it’s true – your family and friends should know who you are and what you like already so they love you with all your quirks, as for those haters or strangers – do you even care? You don’t want to be friends with people like that and probably won’t even see most of them again so strut on by as your best, most authentic self! You’re awesome enough without their approval.

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